First Day

The following things happened to me during my first five hours at this new restaurant:

(1.)

Ten minutes after I arrived and was introduced to the boy who would train me in, watch me wait tables, and examine my general skill level, another new waitress who was just finishing up her lunch shift said, "So, do you have a boyfriend?"

I said no, I definitely did not.

She turned to the boy who was training me in. "And do you have a girlfriend?" she asked.

He said no, he did not.

The new waitress nodded sagely. "You two should date," she announced. "You'd be good together. I can tell just from watching you."

"It's been ten minutes," I said.

"I can tell," she said.

"I'll keep that in mind," I said.


(2.)

During a slow period where I was washing down the front doors that were smeared with grubby hand prints belonging to zealous children who couldn't wait to get inside and have a sundae, one of the cooks--big, sweaty--ambled out from behind the line, leaned on the counter, and whistled at me.

"That," he said, "is a fine ass."


(3.)

When I went back into the kitchen, the cook gave me a big grin. "Sorry about before," he said. "Your butt just looked really nice."


(4.)

An hour later the cook came out of the kitchen again, this time with a twist-tie he'd fashioned into a ring. There was a hunk of broccoli in the spot where a diamond would normally go. "Will you marry me?" he asked.

"Don't worry," one of the waitresses said. "He does this to everyone."


(5.)

Two of the guys asked if I wanted to go have a drink with them after our shifts were over.

"Sure," I said.


(6.)

Somewhere before close, the cook came out and looked at me very seriously. "Do you want to go to a strip club with us? We're going to throw this kid--" here he throws an arm around one of the other boys--"a going-away party before he goes to Iraq. We're taking him to Canada for the strippers."

"Uhm," I said.

"Are you the type of girl who participates at strip clubs?" he asked.

"She's a professor!" one of the other boys said. "What if one of her students saw?"

"So what?" the cook asked. He leaned against the pop machine and waggled his eyebrows. "Hey," he said to me. "If I gave you twenty bucks, would you give me a lap dance?"

~~~

I think, I think, I think I'm going to have a lot to write about this summer.