You Can Imagine The Eye Rolling That Went on Back in the Kitchen

Sometimes people who come into restaurants are pretty strange. Sometimes they don't quite think about what they are saying or doing (see also: part 1). Sometimes they drive you crazy. Sometimes they drive you to drink. Sometimes they make you wonder how anyone is passing elementary school these days.

Earlier this week I had a family that made me wonder that. It was the mother who concerned me most.

They sat themselves. I brought menus. I took down drink orders. I filled the drink orders. I asked what they'd like to eat.

"A hamburger with fries," the one boy said.

The mother pointed to the smaller boy. "And he'll have a cheeseburger with onion rings," she said. "I'll have the BLT."

I took down all the information, collected the menus, and returned to the kitchen to hang my order. A few minutes later, after the order had been cooked, I stacked the plates on my arms and delivered it. As I was setting the plates down in front of the three of them, the mother's face grew concerned.

"What's that?" she asked. She pointed to the onion rings on her son's plate. They were sitting in a neat pile next to the cheeseburger.

"Onion rings," I said. I wondered what the deal was. I wondered just who on earth couldn't identify a junk food staple like onion rings when they were placed in front of them.

"We didn't order onion rings," she said.

Even though I can occasionally get something about an order incorrect, I knew this was not one of those times. I'd written down everything they'd said just as they'd said it.

"You said your son wanted a cheeseburger with onion rings," I said.

She blinked at me. She looked confused. She pursed her lips and then her face lit up in the way faces have when something has dawned upon them. "Ohhhh," she said. "No!" She laughed, like I was silly, like I was just a big goofy girl who didn't know anything. "Onion rings! Onion rings! I wanted some rings of onion on his burger."

I stared at her. "You mean you wanted a slice of onion on his burger?" I asked.

"Yeah!" she said brightly. "Some onion rings on his burger!"