Now He Thinks I'm a Lesbian, Too: Incidents with My Brother

1. At My Cousin's Graduation Party

Adam: I just can't get used to Jess's hair.
Me: He hates it.
Everyone Else: What? Why?
Adam: I don't like the bangs, and it makes her look gay.


2. At My Cousin's Graduation Party, Take Two

Me: Here, try on Kait's stethoscope.
Cousin Jeff: I got her that, you know. It's really nice. The last stethoscope she'll ever need. Well, unless she becomes a veterinarian.
Adam: Cool.
Me: Pose like a doctor, Adam.
Adam:




2. In My Car, 3:45 PM

Adam {out of nowhere}: You know what word is really funny?
Me: What?
Adam: Seminary.
Me: Really? Why?
Adam: It sounds dirty. Seminary. Seminary. Seminary. Semen-ary.
Me: Gross. Don't be foul.
Adam: Rectory's pretty good, too.


3. In My Car, 4:15 PM

Adam {out of nowhere}: You know what other word is really funny?
Me: What?
Adam: Masturbation. {He laughs--two quick and huffy ha! ha!s--then goes back to text messaging the girl he's going to a bonfire with later tonight}